Helping Your Child Become Independent

When we first become parents, our children rely on us for every need. As children grow, we can watch them cross small yet major developmental milestones, like holding a bottle, sitting up, reaching for things they want to hold, pushing away things they don't, etc. Next is independent travel: scooting around, crawling and eventually, walking. Walking opens up a realm of discovery for children and greatly increases their ability to learn independence and self-care.

It's typical for children to want to become more and more independent when they reach the preschool years. They'll want to do more and more for themselves, and this can be nerve wracking for a lot of parents. You just have to remember that letting children take on certain levels of self-care (use your parental judgement on this) is a crucial benefit to their development, socially, emotionally, and one day, financially!

Around the ages of three and four, most children will display a lot of self-care skills, but mastering them might not occur until around six years of age. For children with special needs and developmental delays, mastery of self-care skills might not occur until later in life.

Self Care Skills

Mastery of self-care skills vary for every child, but with practice and persistence, all children can improve them. If your child is actively resisting attempts at any of these self-care tasks or has no interest in learning them, consult your pediatrician (Spivey 1). 

As toddlers, most children begin:

• Using a fork or spoon to eat, and with some guidance from you, using a plastic knife is possible (although I'm 23 and I still find them flimsy and impossible to eat with)
• Dressing and undressing. Preschoolers should be able to put clothes on and take them off without much trouble. Velcro® is great for young children, and makes for a simple doing and undoing of clothes, but clothes with snaps, buttons, and zippers can give children great practice as well. 
• Brushing their teeth. They might be using the toothbrush, but they also might need help or supervision to ensure that they are getting a thorough and long enough clean in. This is a task that takes great coordination for them. But, it makes them feel grown-up! Make sure you teach your children to only use a pea-sized drop of toothpaste, as ingesting fluoride is not good (don't get me started on all the fluoride in the drinking water). 
• Using the toilet on their own. Most children are toilet trained by age 3, but some may not be able to train until 4. Both boys and girls first learn to urinate while sitting on the toilet. Help your kid get comfortable using the toilet at home and away; this will help them avoid holding it in. Holding it in can lead to accidents and isn't the best for the bladder, as you could imagine. Preschool aged boys might want to copy their fathers by standing when they pee. If your child is not fully potty trained by this age, don't be discouraged. Consult your physician if you do think it may be a problem. 
• Preparing breakfast. Children ages 3-4 are typically able to make cereal for themselves as well as find the utensils and dish-ware they need (they might not want to, but that's irrelevant). Make it easier for them by making these items accessible to them (ie: placing the milk lower in the fridge so they can reach) and prepare for many spills, they are learning. 
• Helping out around the house! Yes you read it. Even though they might not want to pick up clothes, put their toys away, take out the trash ;), children should be able to tidy up around 3-4 years of age. Encourage yard work like pulling weeds or picking up trash and sticks. In the kitchen, let them help mix pudding, muffin mixes, make sandwiches, etc. (Spivey 2). 

Be positive about your child's process of learning and applying self-care and independence, and this will encourage them to keep trying. There will be messes, spills, and accidents here and there, but it's small in comparison to how your child will feel about his/her accomplishments and independence. There's plenty of tasks not appropriate for children (using the oven or microwave, ironing, etc.) and they may not understand why, but they should accept it. 

As years pass by, children learn more and more what independence and self-care truly means. One day they'll be driving their car to work, and all of it will be worth it. Put your own work in during the early years and ensure a solid foundation for a successful, independent future!

Resources

Spivey, Becky L. Super Duper Publications © 2008 Handy Handouts: "Reaching Developmental Milestones of Self-Care and Independence"

What the New Affordable Care Act Provisions Mean For Those With Autism and Related Conditions

The Affordable Care Act, according to the US Department of Health and Human Services, contains crucial health care changes to those with autism or related conditions as well as their families. It's important that we spread the know, so that those affected can understand what these provisions are. The goal of this nationwide effort is to cut healthcare costs and help those without care obtain it.

These health care reforms matter for those affected with autism spectrum disorders because they will face more serious coverage and benefit gaps than others. A lot of families affected by autism spectrum and other related conditions do not get the healthcare they need, and this effort can change that. Or, as critics say, it could possibly only add to the convoluted nature of the healthcare system and its inconsistency among the states.

Some Provisions affecting those with autism/related issues under Affordable Care:

• No child under the age of 19 can be denied coverage by job-based or new individual health insurance plans due to preexisting conditions, including children on the autism spectrum. In 2014 these protections will extend to Americans of all ages.
• Health insurance policies must cover all preventative care expenses: shots, check-ups, immunizations etc.. There is no shared-cost (ie: copay, deductables ect). This includes autism screenings for children between 18 and 24 months (as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics). 
• Insurance companies can no longer cap, or set a dollar limit on coverage. Before the ACA, companies held the right to put a limit on the amount of offered coverage, leaving those who exceed this limit to pay out-of-pocket costs. Starting in 2014, no policy can place its own cap. 
• Young adults can now remain on their parents' plan until the age of 26, including those affected by autism/related disorders. For many, this offers peace of mind, as the economy is different and taking on your own health care plan can be difficult without a solid career. 
• Starting in 2014 there will be an expansion of marketplaces for families affected with spectrum disorder to find affordable healthcare
• Starting in 2014, new plans sold in the individual and small group markets will cover "essential health benefits" to make sure that insurance is comprehensive and fully cover realistic needs
• Instead of creating a national standard for autism coverage, a state-level standard will be implemented across America. (Spivey 1). 

Coverage for Autism Treatments

Before ACA, insurers across the country have come up with several mandates on how to manage or guide insurance standards for those with autism. Until now, "essential benefits", or the standard, if you will, has been a matter of statehouse politics. Legislators have created over 16,000 laws regarding health coverage standards for autism. Some state legislators require the coverage of behavioral therapy and other services for autism, but some do not. 

The process of gaining a country-wide requirement by all healthcare policies for coverage of behavioral treatment won't be instant, but it's already in the making. Thus far, 24 states, including Washington D.C., will require insurance carriers that sell policies on their insurance exchange to cover behavioral health treatments as well as preventative care such as behavioral analysis. This includes the following states: Arizona, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Indiana, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New Hampshire, New York, Ohio, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia, and Wisconsin. Though coverage or implementation may be different from state to state (Spivey 2).

For more information on how the Affordable Care Act will affect coverage for you and your family, or if you have questions regarding the new Health Insurance Marketplaces, or you'd like to know how this new coverage will be implemented in your state, visit http://www.healthcare.gov or call their hotline at 1-800-316-2596. Autism Speaks and the Autism Health Insurance Project are always updating their website with vital information and FAQs regarding the Affordable Care Act and how it may or will affect the autism community (Spivey 2). 

Whether this healthcare reform will truly help our whole nation is still a question to be answered, but at least the ACA is committing to better the system for those affected by autism spectrum. It's important we know what lies in the future, and although our healthcare system can seem convoluted and carelessly executed at times, change is a step in some direction and it's a wildly popular idea that change is necessary. Know the facts, understand the provisions, and fight for what you need.

New to Motherhood? Read along, and get along...

This is for all the young Moms and Dads out there, stay-at-home or hard-working, whose main goal in life is to do everything in their power to make their child happy and healthy.
We praise you.

Raising a child can be difficult, confusing, sometimes frustrating, but never less than a dream come true. I know a lot of young mothers whose lives changed the moment they laid eyes on their newborn. What else in the world is more gratifying than creating life?

It all starts with expectations. Maybe he'll be a doctor! Maybe she'll be a dancer! Maybe he'll be a straight-A student! What if she becomes famous?!

These grand expectations seem to diminish as your child ages, learns to communicate, learns to make others smile, and you realize that your child, no matter where they end up, is the most important part of your life. And that's all that matters. You look into their eyes and you see yourself. You realize your child is a fragment of you, multiplying as the years pass, becoming more and more like you. They laugh like you, smile like you, argue like you...just when you thought the mind boggling was over. Nope. Each and every day, your child continues to amaze you.

At first, it's your job to keep your child out of the harsh reality that this world can sometimes prove to be. You try your hardest to shelter them, wanting nothing more than to simply keep them safe. Then, you realize, the only way to foster them is to reel them out into the world (but you keep a tight rope). The best way to diminish this worry is to make sure your child knows that YOU are their confidant. If they do something wrong, don't simply punish them. A depth of psychological research highly suggests that punishment has a weak affect on children in comparison to reward. Only extreme circumstances should call for punishment. The more you punish your child, the more they will look to you as their authoritative figure as opposed to their confidant. Think about it. What will happen when they grow up, and the world throws them into treacherous waters over their head. Wouldn't you want them to come to you for advice, as opposed to fearing your response?

So, reward your young cherub. And when they are disobedient, it's probably because they're learning not to be (unless it's a recurring act, in which case, perhaps take away a "reward" of theirs). Tell them exactly why you shun their disobedience. It's best to establish a healthy rapport with your child, at an early age, that displays you as both a confidant and an authoritative figure. Your child will need your guidance throughout life. They'll graduate college and still need your seasoned advice (sorry for dropping the C word). So, you want them to be able to come to you, so YOU can protect them, even when you've lost grip of that tight rope.

Take your life experience, and apply it to theirs. They will experience similar emotional rollercoasters throughout life. Just remember the way you took on your youth. Were you successful? Evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses, and slowly but surely, learn to highlight your child's strengths and minimize their weaknesses. And remember, raising children, although the most rewarding feeling in the world, can be extremely difficult. There is no shame in asking others for help. There is also no shame whatsoever in seeking professional help in raising your little one. You want the best for them, right?

So, what's the motif for this particular post. Be your child's friend, not just their parent. You'll find that later in their lives, they turn to you for guidance, and that's exactly what you'll want. Be the mother you want to be, and don't let them or your stressful dayjob stray you in any other way.

Suffolk Speech applauds all the young mothers and fathers out there. You've got the hardest, most rewarding job in the world, and it will always be that way. You're molding the future, and that's a hefty job.

Written by: Tim Strampfer

Early Detection of Language Disorders: Pay Attention To These Signs

Approximately 1 out of 20 children display symptoms of a Language Disorder. We at Suffolk Center for Speech believe it's important for parents to know these symptoms, to detect them as early as possible and, if need be, bring them to a Speech Pathologist for an evaluation.

Children with a receptive language disorder find difficulty in understanding others. These are some of the symptoms of a child with a receptive language disorder:

• Difficulty comprehending what others say to them
• Difficulty following directions given to them
• Difficulty organizing thoughts

Children with an expressive language disorder experience difficulty in expressing their needs or thoughts. Here are some symptoms of a child with an expressive language disorder:

• Difficulty organizing thoughts and translating them into sensible sentences
• Difficulty finding the correct word, often using placeholders such as "um" or "uh"
• A weak vocabulary relative to others their age
• Leaving words out of sentences
• Using certain phrases over and over again
• Difficulty using tenses (past, present, future) properly (in comparison to others his/her age

But when should you contact a professional? Some children are only behind in their language skills, while others can truly benefit from seeing a speech therapist. It's hard to know, especially for new parents, if it is necassary to bring a child of a particularly low age for an evaluation. The NY Times, in an informative article regarding receptive and expressive language disorders, explains when it is a good time to seek evaluation:

"Call your child's health care provider if you see the following signs that your child does not understand language well:

• At 15 months, does not look or point at 5 to 10 people or objects when they are named by a parent or caregiver
• At 18 months, does not follow simple directions, such as "get your coat"
• At 24 months, is not able to point to a picture or a part of the body when it is named
• At 30 months, does not respond out loud or by nodding or shaking the head and asking questions
• At 36 months, does not follow 2-step directions, and does not understand action words

Also call if you notice these signs that your child does not use or express language well:

• At 15 months, is not using three words
• At 18 months, is not saying, "Mama," "Dada," or other names
• At 24 months, is not using at least 25 words
• At 30 months, is not using two-word phrases, including phrases that include both a noun and a verb
• At 36 months, does not have at least a 200-word vocabulary, is not asking for items by name, exactly repeats questions spoken by others, language has regressed (become worse), or is not using complete sentences
• At 48 months, often uses words incorrectly or uses a similar or related word instead of the correct word"

We hope this helps new parents in detecting potential language disorders. It's imperative that parents stay informed, pay attention, and if need be, seek professional evaluation. It's not difficult, especially at the Suffolk Center for Speech. We take most major health insurance policies, and our staff of therapists are highly trained in the evaluation and treatment of language disorders. Our platform engages children and motivates them to succeed in therapy. Therapy for language disorders is known for becoming more and more difficult as children age without intervention. For your child's sake, we're devoted to keeping Long Island parents informed. So...read, share, like, and know.

Written by: Tim Strampfer