This is for all the young Moms and Dads out there, stay-at-home or hard-working, whose main goal in life is to do everything in their power to make their child happy and healthy.
We praise you.
Raising a child can be difficult, confusing, sometimes frustrating, but never less than a dream come true. I know a lot of young mothers whose lives changed the moment they laid eyes on their newborn. What else in the world is more gratifying than creating life?
It all starts with expectations. Maybe he'll be a doctor! Maybe she'll be a dancer! Maybe he'll be a straight-A student! What if she becomes famous?!
These grand expectations seem to diminish as your child ages, learns to communicate, learns to make others smile, and you realize that your child, no matter where they end up, is the most important part of your life. And that's all that matters. You look into their eyes and you see yourself. You realize your child is a fragment of you, multiplying as the years pass, becoming more and more like you. They laugh like you, smile like you, argue like you...just when you thought the mind boggling was over. Nope. Each and every day, your child continues to amaze you.
At first, it's your job to keep your child out of the harsh reality that this world can sometimes prove to be. You try your hardest to shelter them, wanting nothing more than to simply keep them safe. Then, you realize, the only way to foster them is to reel them out into the world (but you keep a tight rope). The best way to diminish this worry is to make sure your child knows that YOU are their confidant. If they do something wrong, don't simply punish them. A depth of psychological research highly suggests that punishment has a weak affect on children in comparison to reward. Only extreme circumstances should call for punishment. The more you punish your child, the more they will look to you as their authoritative figure as opposed to their confidant. Think about it. What will happen when they grow up, and the world throws them into treacherous waters over their head. Wouldn't you want them to come to you for advice, as opposed to fearing your response?
So, reward your young cherub. And when they are disobedient, it's probably because they're learning not to be (unless it's a recurring act, in which case, perhaps take away a "reward" of theirs). Tell them exactly why you shun their disobedience. It's best to establish a healthy rapport with your child, at an early age, that displays you as both a confidant and an authoritative figure. Your child will need your guidance throughout life. They'll graduate college and still need your seasoned advice (sorry for dropping the C word). So, you want them to be able to come to you, so YOU can protect them, even when you've lost grip of that tight rope.
Take your life experience, and apply it to theirs. They will experience similar emotional rollercoasters throughout life. Just remember the way you took on your youth. Were you successful? Evaluate your own strengths and weaknesses, and slowly but surely, learn to highlight your child's strengths and minimize their weaknesses. And remember, raising children, although the most rewarding feeling in the world, can be extremely difficult. There is no shame in asking others for help. There is also no shame whatsoever in seeking professional help in raising your little one. You want the best for them, right?
So, what's the motif for this particular post. Be your child's friend, not just their parent. You'll find that later in their lives, they turn to you for guidance, and that's exactly what you'll want. Be the mother you want to be, and don't let them or your stressful dayjob stray you in any other way.
Suffolk Speech applauds all the young mothers and fathers out there. You've got the hardest, most rewarding job in the world, and it will always be that way. You're molding the future, and that's a hefty job.
Written by: Tim Strampfer
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